Dreams and Regrets

I dreamt about dancing again last night. This is far from the first time I’ve dreamt about buckling my shoes and swiping lipstick across my lips, but this dream was particularly vivid.

I was in a large, ritzy club; far from the dive I used to work in, sitting on a man’s lap. He was balding, with glasses and a short-sleeve button down shirt. A stereotypical nerd. I was drinking champagne and chatting happily about nothing in particular while he fed me a steady stream of one dollar bills.

This dream was not realistic. I have rarely had wealthy clients who paid me to talk, and I can’t remember a time when I’ve drank an entire bottle of champagne. This dream was less like reality, and more like the glitzy (and most likely exaggerated) experiences of other stripper-bloggers.

I gave him a lap dance and counted my money. I think the total was somewhere near $800.

I miss stripping. I miss it a lot. Is that sick?

Maybe its just because I’m so broke right now, but the clubs near my home are really calling to me.

My boyfriend is the only thing stopping me. He could never be alright with me dancing again, and while I understand the reason why he wouldn’t want his girlfriend getting naked for strangers, it doesn’t make my yearning any less.

I repeat the question… Am I sick?

So sorry for my absence...

but a lot has been going on in my life. I ended a 4 year relationship and went a bit buckwild before calming down and dealing with the massive amounts of schoolwork that accumulated during my partying.

I went up to Philly a few times, made a bunch of money, had a wonderful New Years Eve, had my wisdom teeth removed, met a new boy, and just generally lived my life.

But, I'm back now, with lots of new stories and a complete lack of motivation to do schoolwork.

You'll be hearing from me again very soon, my lovelies.